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How to Overcome the 5 Mental Obstacles to Self-Discipline
In this video, we'll discuss the five mental hindrances to self-discipline:
The Brain That Works Against You: Our brains are wired for instant
gratification, which can make it difficult to stick to our goals. We'll
explore how to overcome this obstacle and rewire your brain for success.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/mindovermatterhollins
00:00:00 Mind Over Matter
00:08:42 5 Mental Hindrances To Self-Discipline
00:16:12 The Brain That Works Against You
00:29:20 Time Orientation
00:38:56 It's Up To You
Time Orientation: Our perception of time can have a significant
impact on our ability to stay disciplined. We'll discuss how to develop a
positive time orientation that will help you stay focused and
motivated.
It's Up to You: Ultimately, self-discipline is a
choice. We'll explore how to take responsibility for your actions and
make the decisions that will lead to success.
Transcript
Mind Over Matter:
Speaker:The Self-Discipline to Execute Without Excuses,
Speaker:Control Your Impulses,
Speaker:and Keep Going When You Want to Give Up
Speaker:Written by
Speaker:Peter Hollins, narrated by russell newton.
Speaker:Chapter 1.
Speaker:Mind Over Matter .
Speaker:Rosa became obsessed with films after
Speaker:watching Back to the Future at the age
Speaker:of eight,
Speaker:and subsequently decided she wanted to
Speaker:be a movie director.
Speaker:There hasn't been any other ambition
Speaker:for her ever since.
Speaker:She always kept her goal of directing
Speaker:in mind,
Speaker:even though for the next 20 years,
Speaker:she never made any concrete steps
Speaker:toward it other than to be an avid
Speaker:movie watcher.
Speaker:Her knowledge of arcane movie trivia
Speaker:was second to none.
Speaker:Whatever hours she didn't spend
Speaker:watching films she spent on the
Speaker:Internet and in history books reading
Speaker:about them.
Speaker:If she could have gone on the trivia
Speaker:television show Jeopardy,
Speaker:she would have been a long-running
Speaker:champion.
Speaker:Rosa had read multiple biographies of
Speaker:all of her favorite directors -
Speaker:Spielberg,
Speaker:Kurosawa,
Speaker:Fellini,
Speaker:Miyazaki,
Speaker:and more.
Speaker:Yet she never translated this research,
Speaker:knowledge,
Speaker:and information into action.
Speaker:She had a fairly expensive video camera
Speaker:that she kept confined to her closet,
Speaker:as well as an archive of film editing
Speaker:software that she had only used a
Speaker:handful of times.
Speaker:They were all too intimidating and
Speaker:confusing.
Speaker:Moreover,
Speaker:what if she discovered that all her
Speaker:knowledge and preparation weren't
Speaker:enough and she was destined to fail at
Speaker:becoming a director?
Speaker:It was easier to take the path of least
Speaker:resistance and remain in inaction.
Speaker:At least learning about Fellini and
Speaker:Miyazaki's favorite films made her feel
Speaker:productive to some degree,
Speaker:even if she was avoiding the elephant
Speaker:in the room.
Speaker:One day,
Speaker:she discovered an acquaintance of hers
Speaker:had started a YouTube channel that was
Speaker:quickly amassing millions of views.
Speaker:Out of curiosity,
Speaker:she started viewing the videos and was
Speaker:struck by what she saw.
Speaker:This wasn't art-the shots weren't
Speaker:framed adequately,
Speaker:her focus was wrong,
Speaker:and the narrative structure was
Speaker:reversed!
Speaker:None of the viewers seemed to care,
Speaker:however,
Speaker:as the views continued to increase.
Speaker:What's more,
Speaker:the reviews of the videos were all
Speaker:glowing and encouraging.
Speaker:No one cared about the framing or focus.
Speaker:So Rosa made a dramatic decision.
Speaker:If she can do it,
Speaker:why can't I?
Speaker:For four months she was going to make
Speaker:real,
Speaker:concrete strides toward becoming a
Speaker:director-of anything.
Speaker:It was time to buckle down and keep
Speaker:going when all she wanted to do was
Speaker:give up.
Speaker:No more retreating to her comfort zone;
Speaker:she was going to translate her dreams
Speaker:into reality through sheer willpower
Speaker:and self-discipline.
Speaker:She already had the knowledge;
Speaker:it was just time to put it into action.
Speaker:She first organized her time into two
Speaker:categories - "learn" and "practice."
Speaker:During "learn" time,
Speaker:Rosa methodically studied how to write
Speaker:a script,
Speaker:assemble a plot,
Speaker:and what methods renowned directors
Speaker:used to get the shots they wanted.
Speaker:During "practice" time,
Speaker:she experimented with different shots
Speaker:and angles,
Speaker:wrote a few scenes,
Speaker:and changed perspectives and storylines
Speaker:to see which ones worked the best.
Speaker:No more was she spending hours watching
Speaker:commentary of old movies she'd seen
Speaker:hundreds of times before.
Speaker:And no more was she letting her
Speaker:equipment gather dust in the closet for
Speaker:fear of not being able to use it
Speaker:correctly.
Speaker:The day those four months ended,
Speaker:Rosa set out to make her film.
Speaker:She found a few local actors who were
Speaker:willing to work for pizza.
Speaker:She herself was the camerawoman.
Speaker:Her cousin was her sound person,
Speaker:and her dog was a prop.
Speaker:When she finished,
Speaker:she put it online and it garnered a few
Speaker:hundred views,
Speaker:mostly from family and friends.
Speaker:Rosa wasn't a professional filmmaker,
Speaker:but these were all steps on the journey
Speaker:to seeing her wishes become reality.
Speaker:She committed herself to completing one
Speaker:short film every month thereafter.
Speaker:She soon grew a reputation for being
Speaker:one of the speediest and most
Speaker:knowledgeable directors in the business.
Speaker:A scant three years later,
Speaker:one of her short films was entered into
Speaker:a film festival competition,
Speaker:something she never even dreamed about
Speaker:when she was just starting out.
Speaker:While she didn't win any prizes,
Speaker:she still gained recognition and began
Speaker:to be able to support herself through
Speaker:her childhood dream of directing.
Speaker:Some might say Rosa was lucky.
Speaker:That is partially true-but if Rosa had
Speaker:never made the decision to buckle down
Speaker:and do what she had been avoiding for
Speaker:years,
Speaker:she never would have been in the
Speaker:position to be lucky.
Speaker:So what brought Rosa the success she
Speaker:attained as a director?
Speaker:She realized just in time that she
Speaker:needed to give herself the gift of
Speaker:self-discipline.
Speaker:She knew that whatever she wanted was
Speaker:behind a door that could only be
Speaker:unlocked by it,
Speaker:and no one else could do it for her.
Speaker:She changed her habits,
Speaker:started thinking methodically,
Speaker:and put her ideas into motion.
Speaker:She didn't accept a lifestyle devoid of
Speaker:challenge or pain,
Speaker:and she willed herself to a goal
Speaker:through hardship and struggle.
Speaker:She didn't give up when she wanted to,
Speaker:as she did for years,
Speaker:and put her goals above a sense of
Speaker:temporary discomfort.
Speaker:Self-discipline,
Speaker:willpower,
Speaker:self-control,
Speaker:"mind over matter"-whatever you want to
Speaker:call it,
Speaker:that's what Rosa summoned,
Speaker:and that's what this book is about.
Speaker:It's the process of going through what
Speaker:we'd rather avoid,
Speaker:in order to reach what makes us
Speaker:happiest.
Speaker:On the surface,
Speaker:it's easy to explain - ensuring that we
Speaker:act in accordance with our intentions.
Speaker:It means focusing our intentions and
Speaker:behaviors in one direction to achieve
Speaker:the life we want.
Speaker:It represents the ability to do what we
Speaker:want no matter what.
Speaker:We intellectually and logically know
Speaker:that it's the way to what we want.
Speaker:So why did Rosa wait years to act?
Speaker:Why is it so hard for many of us?
Speaker:Self-discipline and matching a thought
Speaker:to an action involves the mind.
Speaker:The second part-the action-is not a
Speaker:problem because our arms and legs
Speaker:generally do what we tell them to do.
Speaker:They aren't pulled in different
Speaker:directions by stray thoughts.
Speaker:Even if they don't listen to us the
Speaker:first time,
Speaker:we can physically force them into
Speaker:compliance.
Speaker:But the mind-your thoughts,
Speaker:intentions,
Speaker:and expectations-can't be twisted and
Speaker:forced into anything.
Speaker:Consider that the goal of most
Speaker:meditation and mindfulness practices is
Speaker:to eliminate all mental chatter to
Speaker:focus on a single thought,
Speaker:or to focus on a physical sensation and
Speaker:no thought at all.
Speaker:Control and mastery over our minds is
Speaker:one of the best weapons against stress
Speaker:and anxiety.
Speaker:Arguably,
Speaker:control over the mind and translating
Speaker:that into action is one of life's most
Speaker:elusive achievements.
Speaker:Quick-don't think about the purple
Speaker:elephant wearing a tutu.
Speaker:Did my warning work?
Speaker:Are you now not picturing the elephant
Speaker:standing in a meadow with its big
Speaker:floppy ears and a white sheer tutu?
Speaker:Are you successfully not imagining its
Speaker:trunk and thick legs?
Speaker:Probably not.
Speaker:And that's why the mind is such a
Speaker:difficult beast to defeat.
Speaker:Self-discipline is the creation of a
Speaker:clear path between your internal and
Speaker:external realities,
Speaker:no matter what.
Speaker:No matter if there are no immediate
Speaker:rewards;
Speaker:in fact,
Speaker:the rewards are usually so far away
Speaker:that you can't even fathom them at the
Speaker:moment.
Speaker:No matter that sometimes the progress
Speaker:is so gradual that it's difficult for
Speaker:one to gauge any difference,
Speaker:and if they can't see exactly how
Speaker:they're getting better,
Speaker:then they're apt to give up.
Speaker:No matter that other times,
Speaker:the mind is hijacked by emotions,
Speaker:triggers,
Speaker:and otherwise damaging thought patterns.
Speaker:This is just a small sampling of what
Speaker:we battle on the road from intentions
Speaker:to actions.
Speaker:However well-intentioned you are,
Speaker:your mind just doesn't care.
Speaker:It has to be coaxed,
Speaker:built,
Speaker:and even tricked into compliance,
Speaker:and that's what you'll learn in this
Speaker:book.
Speaker:Appropriately,
Speaker:this first chapter is about the various
Speaker:obstacles we face in putting a leash on
Speaker:our minds.
Speaker:5 Mental Hindrances To Self-Discipline .
Speaker:What blocks us from attaining strong
Speaker:self-discipline?
Speaker:An especially illustrative set of
Speaker:obstacles comes from Buddhist
Speaker:philosophy.
Speaker:When you think of Buddhism,
Speaker:the world discipline is usually not far
Speaker:away.
Speaker:In fact,
Speaker:discipline is right at the core of
Speaker:Buddhist teachings.
Speaker:Its tenets emphasize maintaining a
Speaker:sense of control over one's mind and
Speaker:body as a means to fulfillment.
Speaker:In fact,
Speaker:it preaches that we are naturally
Speaker:endowed with the ability to do what we
Speaker:want and feel happiness at all times.
Speaker:However,
Speaker:we give up those feelings of control to
Speaker:someone or something outside of
Speaker:ourselves;
Speaker:we relinquish our own power to an
Speaker:external force that we perceive has
Speaker:more power.
Speaker:We say "I can't," "I shouldn't," or "I
Speaker:won't" far more often than we should.
Speaker:We say it so much that we believe that
Speaker:fighting against these powers is
Speaker:useless,
Speaker:and thus we lose power over ourselves.
Speaker:In other words,
Speaker:when we tell ourselves we have no
Speaker:discipline,
Speaker:it ends up being true.
Speaker:Therefore,
Speaker:Buddhism teaches that a lack of
Speaker:personal power is illusory.
Speaker:It can be difficult to take that power
Speaker:back,
Speaker:but this,
Speaker:of course,
Speaker:is one of the first steps to
Speaker:self-discipline-believing that it's
Speaker:possible and within your control.
Speaker:Part of the process involves knowing
Speaker:exactly how we're being blocked or
Speaker:prohibited from exercising that control.
Speaker:To that end,
Speaker:there are five areas that cover most,
Speaker:if not all,
Speaker:of the sources of our trepidation in
Speaker:taking control of our lives.
Speaker:If you're just starting to figure out
Speaker:where your shortcomings in
Speaker:self-discipline exist,
Speaker:these five areas are helpful to start
Speaker:investigating yourself.
Speaker:If you're a grizzled veteran seeking
Speaker:new methods,
Speaker:these five areas may provide new
Speaker:perspective on familiar issues.
Speaker:Below are the five mental hindrances - .
Speaker:* giving in to the five senses .
Speaker:* animosity and malice .
Speaker:* apathy and laziness .
Speaker:* anxiety and remorse .
Speaker:* hesitation and doubt .
Speaker:Giving in to the five senses.
Speaker:Control over our thoughts is usurped
Speaker:when we are distracted by our physical
Speaker:surroundings.
Speaker:We put too much attention and
Speaker:importance on information from our
Speaker:senses of sight,
Speaker:sound,
Speaker:smell,
Speaker:hearing,
Speaker:and touch-whether it's physical beauty,
Speaker:the smell of freshly baked bread,
Speaker:a great love song,
Speaker:or a horrible scene of violence.
Speaker:We allow these sensations to overwhelm
Speaker:us and replace our conscious thoughts
Speaker:and goals.
Speaker:Our senses bring us the most immediate
Speaker:understanding of the external world,
Speaker:and as such,
Speaker:we overstate their importance to us.
Speaker:Many of us only believe in what we can
Speaker:experience with these senses,
Speaker:or we at least allow them to take over
Speaker:our concentration as we seek to gratify
Speaker:ourselves.
Speaker:Sensory information by its very nature
Speaker:is instant gratification.
Speaker:But not everything is beneficial or
Speaker:even deserves our attention.
Speaker:To attain self-discipline,
Speaker:we need to put sensory information in
Speaker:its proper context - allowing ourselves
Speaker:to indulge in and experience those
Speaker:senses fully but also keeping aware
Speaker:that they are temporary,
Speaker:distracting,
Speaker:and ultimately hindrances.
Speaker:Animosity and malice.
Speaker:Emotions have the ability to completely
Speaker:override our thoughts of
Speaker:self-discipline,
Speaker:and anger is one of the strongest
Speaker:emotions.
Speaker:People are adept at unconsciously
Speaker:ingraining all emotions adjacent to
Speaker:anger,
Speaker:such as resentment,
Speaker:bitterness,
Speaker:and animosity,
Speaker:into their thought patterns.
Speaker:The destructive power of malice isn't
Speaker:just about what other people do to us,
Speaker:either-it can also be directed toward
Speaker:ourselves in the acts of guilt or
Speaker:self-loathing.
Speaker:They have the ability to undermine all
Speaker:of our thoughts and render us
Speaker:practically blind in fits of rage.
Speaker:We obsess over past miscarriages of
Speaker:justice or fairness that hurt us - the
Speaker:ex who broke your heart,
Speaker:the company that fired you for stupid
Speaker:reasons,
Speaker:or the drive-thru restaurant that got
Speaker:your order wrong.
Speaker:These feelings activate our impulse to
Speaker:exact retribution or punish the people
Speaker:or institutions who have "done us
Speaker:wrong."
Speaker:It's draining at best and self-sabotage
Speaker:at worst.
Speaker:When you act to address animosity and
Speaker:malice,
Speaker:you certainly don't address your goals.
Speaker:Apathy and laziness.
Speaker:The simple act of doing is not usually
Speaker:preferable.
Speaker:Being human takes a lot of work.
Speaker:For many,
Speaker:it's easier to allow themselves and
Speaker:their bodies to seek an escape from
Speaker:constant mental and physical activity
Speaker:by shutting down and feeling nothing.
Speaker:Whatever it takes to get along in the
Speaker:world is just too much for them to deal
Speaker:with,
Speaker:and the end product is apathy and sloth.
Speaker:This is a mental hindrance you are
Speaker:probably quite familiar with.
Speaker:Humans tend to enjoy the path of least
Speaker:resistance and will seek it whenever
Speaker:possible.
Speaker:The problem is when this becomes an
Speaker:instinctual course of action,
Speaker:with a corresponding inability to break
Speaker:out of it when necessary.
Speaker:Anxiety and remorse.
Speaker:Like anger,
Speaker:anxiety has the ability to completely
Speaker:overpower your more productive thoughts.
Speaker:The previous three hindrances show how
Speaker:one can be immobilized by inner
Speaker:thoughts-but anxiety causes you to be
Speaker:mentally overactive and do too much.
Speaker:Anxiety is the fear of a bad or
Speaker:less-than-perfect outcome leading to
Speaker:agitation and worry,
Speaker:making one become overwhelmed with
Speaker:stress,
Speaker:worry,
Speaker:and then finally remorse after the fact.
Speaker:How can you function if you are
Speaker:crippled with fear?
Speaker:It becomes clear that no action at all
Speaker:is far safer.
Speaker:Self-discipline is relegated to a
Speaker:distant priority compared to safety and
Speaker:security.
Speaker:Hesitation,
Speaker:disbelief,
Speaker:and uncertainty.
Speaker:Why would you engage in self-discipline
Speaker:if you believe it is all for nothing?
Speaker:For somebody who struggles with doubt,
Speaker:low self-esteem,
Speaker:or insecurity,
Speaker:self-questioning can be a debilitating
Speaker:factor that goes well past the point
Speaker:where introspection remains valuable.
Speaker:"I don't know if I can do this," "Am I
Speaker:doing this right?"
Speaker:"What's the point of this anyway?"
Speaker:"What the heck is this?"-all these
Speaker:questions serve as barriers to
Speaker:disciplined action.
Speaker:They indirectly call out our reasons
Speaker:for doing anything or raise just enough
Speaker:uncertainty about a given task that you
Speaker:might abandon it without much
Speaker:resistance-the very opposite of what a
Speaker:self-disciplined person does.
Speaker:Planning and powering past these doubts
Speaker:is a key to restoring self-discipline.
Speaker:Unfortunately,
Speaker:it's not as easy as self-awareness,
Speaker:as you'll learn in the next section.
Speaker:Though you may be able to solve a
Speaker:couple of your mental hindrances
Speaker:through stopping and pausing,
Speaker:you'll need to address some deeper,
Speaker:biological issues as well.
Speaker:The Brain That Works Against You .
Speaker:Almost nobody will argue against the
Speaker:importance of self-discipline,
Speaker:even if they know they fall short in
Speaker:practicing it on a daily basis.
Speaker:Anyone with some life experience under
Speaker:their belt knows that they can
Speaker:accomplish more with a healthy sense of
Speaker:constraint and willpower.
Speaker:If they haven't always exhibited
Speaker:self-control themselves,
Speaker:at least they've seen examples of
Speaker:successful people who have-and they'll
Speaker:readily admit that such people at least
Speaker:appear to get more done than those
Speaker:without self-control.
Speaker:Why do we fight against our own
Speaker:self-interests when it comes to
Speaker:instilling discipline into our own
Speaker:lives?
Speaker:Is it just that we don't want to eat
Speaker:our vegetables?
Speaker:Not quite.
Speaker:Unfortunately,
Speaker:a major reason-a more general reason
Speaker:that directly or indirectly causes each
Speaker:of the five mental hindrances-is the
Speaker:brain itself.
Speaker:The brain is a network.
Speaker:It's fundamentally composed of nerve
Speaker:cells,
Speaker:or neurons.
Speaker:These neurons communicate to each other
Speaker:through chemical reactions-an impulse
Speaker:in one nerve fiber gets activated,
Speaker:then is converted into a chemical that
Speaker:flies across the gap and is received by
Speaker:another nerve fiber.
Speaker:This act,
Speaker:multiplied by about a trillion times a
Speaker:day,
Speaker:basically controls everything we do,
Speaker:say,
Speaker:or think.
Speaker:That chemical that's flying across the
Speaker:gap is called a neurotransmitter,
Speaker:and different neurotransmitters are
Speaker:responsible for different
Speaker:communications to the brain.
Speaker:It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that
Speaker:our thoughts and reactions are
Speaker:determined by these chemicals.
Speaker:Self-discipline is especially tied to a
Speaker:specific neurotransmitter - dopamine.
Speaker:Dopamine is one of the agents that work
Speaker:on the brain's pleasure and reward
Speaker:centers.
Speaker:In other words,
Speaker:when we experience pleasure or reward
Speaker:of some type,
Speaker:dopamine is usually at the root of
Speaker:it-the greater the amount of dopamine
Speaker:released,
Speaker:the greater the pleasure we feel.
Speaker:It happens during and after a
Speaker:pleasurable event-you feel it while you
Speaker:are eating a dozen donuts and also
Speaker:after you finish a great workout at the
Speaker:gym.
Speaker:However,
Speaker:dopamine is also released in
Speaker:anticipation of pleasure or reward,
Speaker:which ties it directly to
Speaker:self-discipline.
Speaker:It sabotages it.
Speaker:The reality of the matter is that we
Speaker:are all dopamine junkies.
Speaker:We want it right now and as soon as
Speaker:possible.
Speaker:Our brains crave it,
Speaker:and it plays a big part in telling us
Speaker:when to act or stop.
Speaker:This trait makes it difficult for us to
Speaker:ignore something that gives us instant
Speaker:dopamine in favor of delayed dopamine,
Speaker:even if it will be substantially
Speaker:greater at a later point.
Speaker:Why go to the gym when you can eat a
Speaker:pie right now,
Speaker:even if you know what's better for you?
Speaker:Dopamine is what we seek,
Speaker:and this causes us to be ruled by one
Speaker:of the most well-known theories
Speaker:concerning human behavior-the pleasure
Speaker:principle.
Speaker:The reason it's so renowned is because
Speaker:it's also the easiest to understand.
Speaker:The pleasure principle was first raised
Speaker:in public consciousness by the father
Speaker:of psychoanalysis,
Speaker:Sigmund Freud,
Speaker:though researchers as far back as
Speaker:Aristotle in ancient Greece noted how
Speaker:easily we could be manipulated by
Speaker:pleasure and pain.
Speaker:The pleasure principle asserts that the
Speaker:human mind does everything it can to
Speaker:seek out pleasure and avoid pain.
Speaker:It doesn't think;
Speaker:it doesn't analyze;
Speaker:it just acts like a blind animal
Speaker:urgently moving in the direction that
Speaker:it feels more pleasure and less pain.
Speaker:It doesn't have any sense of restraint.
Speaker:It is primal and unfiltered.
Speaker:It doesn't get simpler than that.
Speaker:An apt comparison,
Speaker:in fact,
Speaker:is a drug addict who will stop at
Speaker:nothing to get another taste of
Speaker:narcotics.
Speaker:There are a few rules that govern the
Speaker:pleasure principle - .
Speaker:Every decision we make is based on
Speaker:gaining pleasure or avoiding pain in
Speaker:some way.
Speaker:You may have heard about the debate
Speaker:that there is no truly altruistic and
Speaker:selfless act in the world.
Speaker:According to this principle,
Speaker:there definitely isn't.
Speaker:Even giving to charity would in some
Speaker:way bring pleasure or avoid pain.
Speaker:No matter what we do in the course of
Speaker:our day,
Speaker:it all gets down to the pleasure
Speaker:principle.
Speaker:You get a haircut because you think it
Speaker:will make you more attractive to
Speaker:someone else,
Speaker:which will make you happy,
Speaker:which is pleasure.
Speaker:Conversely,
Speaker:you wear a protective mask while you're
Speaker:using a blowtorch because you want to
Speaker:avoid sparks flying into your face and
Speaker:eyes,
Speaker:because that will be painful.
Speaker:If you trace all of our decisions back,
Speaker:whether short-term or long-term,
Speaker:you'll find that they all stem from a
Speaker:small set of pleasures or pains.
Speaker:Self-discipline corollary - doing what
Speaker:we need to do is often painful and
Speaker:devoid of pleasure,
Speaker:so we don't do it.
Speaker:People work harder to avoid pain than
Speaker:to get pleasure.
Speaker:Your behaviors will skew toward pain
Speaker:avoidance more than pleasure-seeking.
Speaker:The instinct to survive a threatening
Speaker:situation is more immediate than eating
Speaker:your favorite candy bar,
Speaker:for instance.
Speaker:You would rather avoid getting punched
Speaker:in the face than drink your favorite
Speaker:whiskey.
Speaker:Self-discipline corollary - giving up
Speaker:is often less painful than persevering.
Speaker:So we give up.
Speaker:Our perceptions of pleasure and pain
Speaker:are more powerful drivers than the
Speaker:actual things.
Speaker:When our brain is judging between what
Speaker:will be a pleasant or painful
Speaker:experience,
Speaker:it's working from scenarios that we
Speaker:think could result if we took a course
Speaker:of action.
Speaker:And sometimes those scenarios can be
Speaker:flawed.
Speaker:In fact,
Speaker:they are mostly flawed.
Speaker:For instance,
Speaker:you might be deathly afraid of heights.
Speaker:Sky-diving would naturally be your
Speaker:worst nightmare.
Speaker:It is for me,
Speaker:anyway.
Speaker:You might have no idea how it feels.
Speaker:You have probably never gone
Speaker:bungee-jumping or even ridden a
Speaker:roller-coaster.
Speaker:Perhaps the most you've tested your
Speaker:fear of heights is standing on the
Speaker:balcony of your two-story house.
Speaker:But the thought of jumping out of a
Speaker:plane makes you physically nauseous.
Speaker:You imagine how the feeling of
Speaker:weightlessness is a precursor to death.
Speaker:You imagine that you will indeed die.
Speaker:But you haven't actually tried it.
Speaker:All you have are perceptions and
Speaker:assumptions,
Speaker:and that's enough to magnify the pain
Speaker:of sky-diving to extremes.
Speaker:Incidentally,
Speaker:sky-diving has an incredibly low rate
Speaker:of accidents and is over within a
Speaker:series of minutes.
Speaker:Your brain deals in the business of
Speaker:worst-case scenarios.
Speaker:Self-discipline corollary -
Speaker:unfamiliarity breeds fear,
Speaker:which breeds avoidance.
Speaker:So you avoid acting.
Speaker:Pleasure and pain are changed by time.
Speaker:In general,
Speaker:we focus on the here and now - what can
Speaker:I get very soon that will bring me
Speaker:happiness?
Speaker:Also,
Speaker:what is coming up very soon that could
Speaker:be painful and I'll have to avoid?
Speaker:Immediacy is king.
Speaker:One dollar right now is far more
Speaker:attractive than five dollars in one
Speaker:month's time.
Speaker:The pleasure and pain that might happen
Speaker:months or years from now don't really
Speaker:register with us-what's most important
Speaker:is whatever's right at our doorstep.
Speaker:This certainly doesn't help our sense
Speaker:of planning for the future if we are
Speaker:stuck in the present moment.
Speaker:Self-discipline corollary - the rewards
Speaker:we seek are rarely immediate,
Speaker:and often,
Speaker:the longer-term they are,
Speaker:the greater they are.
Speaker:But we're stuck in the now,
Speaker:so we avoid action.
Speaker:Emotion beats logic.
Speaker:When it comes to the pleasure
Speaker:principle,
Speaker:your feelings tend to overshadow
Speaker:rational thought.
Speaker:You might know that doing something
Speaker:will be good or bad for you.
Speaker:You'll understand all the reasons why
Speaker:it will be good or bad.
Speaker:You get all that.
Speaker:But then an emotional impulse rears its
Speaker:head and screams,
Speaker:"So what?!"
Speaker:There's nothing you can do to control
Speaker:the power of a volcano,
Speaker:even if you know it's within your
Speaker:control.
Speaker:Losing a dollar might be bad on its
Speaker:own,
Speaker:but when you insert emotion into this
Speaker:loss,
Speaker:it stops becoming about the dollar,
Speaker:and more about everything the dollar
Speaker:could possibly represent,
Speaker:and then you're headed down a slippery
Speaker:slope.
Speaker:Self-discipline corollary - logic
Speaker:doesn't control our behavior nearly as
Speaker:much as we would like to believe it
Speaker:does.
Speaker:At this point,
Speaker:you should see the writing on the wall
Speaker:that the pleasure principle is one of
Speaker:the main saboteurs of self-discipline.
Speaker:We've always been biologically wired to
Speaker:not think ahead and care most about the
Speaker:present moment-essentially the opposite
Speaker:of what self-discipline focuses on.
Speaker:This is the same reason that delaying
Speaker:gratification is difficult.
Speaker:However,
Speaker:we can skirt around this by changing
Speaker:the way we think about pleasure and
Speaker:pain.
Speaker:In the pursuit of self-discipline,
Speaker:we want to increase the pleasure in
Speaker:every long-term duty or obligation we
Speaker:have and lessen the pain.
Speaker:There are a series of steps we can use
Speaker:to do this strategically.
Speaker:1. Decide what you want.
Speaker:What is your goal that requires
Speaker:self-discipline?
Speaker:It can be as simple as working out more.
Speaker:2. Take inventory of your pain and
Speaker:pleasure.
Speaker:This is where you take aspects of the
Speaker:pleasure principle and start massaging
Speaker:them to your benefit.
Speaker:Here's what you do - .
Speaker:* Take two sheets of paper.
Speaker:Draw a line down the middle of each
Speaker:page.
Speaker:* At the top of the left column on both
Speaker:pages,
Speaker:write down "PAIN AVOIDED. " .
Speaker:* At the top of the right column on
Speaker:both pages,
Speaker:write down "PLEASURE GAINED. " .
Speaker:* Now,
Speaker:at the top-center of one of the pages,
Speaker:write down "BEING DISCIPLINED. " .
Speaker:* At the top-center of the other pages,
Speaker:write down "NOT BEING DISCIPLINED. " .
Speaker:By now you probably know what we're up
Speaker:to.
Speaker:You're going to list the pain and
Speaker:pleasure you expect you'll experience
Speaker:when you take a step toward
Speaker:accomplishing your goal or when you
Speaker:decide not to.
Speaker:To motivate yourself psychologically,
Speaker:you're going to amp up the pain
Speaker:associated with not being disciplined,
Speaker:and the pleasure associated with being
Speaker:disciplined.
Speaker:This may seem elementary,
Speaker:but it's a level of perspective and
Speaker:insight that you can use to combat your
Speaker:impulses.
Speaker:Just taking stock of what happens in
Speaker:reality can help quell your impulses.
Speaker:For example,
Speaker:let's take that goal of working out
Speaker:more.
Speaker:Let's go with the "NOT BEING
Speaker:DISCIPLINED" bit first.
Speaker:It might look something like this - .
Speaker:NOT BEING DISCIPLINED to work out more .
Speaker:PAIN AVOIDED .
Speaker:PLEASURE GAINED .
Speaker:Embarrassment,
Speaker:shame at gym .
Speaker:More television time .
Speaker:No sore muscles .
Speaker:More free time in general .
Speaker:Paying gym fees .
Speaker:Now let's make one up for "BEING
Speaker:DISCIPLINED" - .
Speaker:BEING DISCIPLINED to work out more .
Speaker:PAIN AVOIDED .
Speaker:PLEASURE GAINED .
Speaker:Feeling lazy .
Speaker:Confidence .
Speaker:Lack of dates .
Speaker:Attractiveness .
Speaker:High blood pressure .
Speaker:Real-world strength .
Speaker:List as many pain and pleasure points
Speaker:as you can for each scenario.
Speaker:Be honest with yourself and try to
Speaker:think the potential through as much as
Speaker:you can.
Speaker:You should get some clarity about what
Speaker:your aspirations and ambitions are-not
Speaker:to mention your hopes and fears.
Speaker:3. Tip the scales in your favor.
Speaker:This is a part where you get creative.
Speaker:Take the "NOT BEING DISCIPLINED" sheet
Speaker:and minimize the pains.
Speaker:They are minor;
Speaker:they are trivial.
Speaker:Convince yourself that these small
Speaker:things shouldn't have such power over
Speaker:you.
Speaker:Tip the scales in your favor,
Speaker:so to speak.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:for the "BEING DISCIPLINED" sheet,
Speaker:amplify the pleasures.
Speaker:Picture how utterly fantastic each of
Speaker:these situations could turn out.
Speaker:Think about the best-case scenarios
Speaker:that could result with each of these
Speaker:items.
Speaker:Take the positive possibilities and run
Speaker:with them.
Speaker:Don't be surprised if you get a minor
Speaker:dopamine rush from this alone.
Speaker:This sheet is more than just an
Speaker:inventory - it's a checklist for
Speaker:reinforcing your self-discipline.
Speaker:What you have just done is created a
Speaker:very tangible cost-benefit analysis
Speaker:that gets to the heart of what makes
Speaker:you act.
Speaker:Instead of waiting for our prehistoric
Speaker:brain to sabotage our efforts because
Speaker:of the lack of pie or television,
Speaker:we can tip the scales a bit in our
Speaker:favor when it comes to dopamine and
Speaker:make our brain work for us rather than
Speaker:against us.
Speaker:Time Orientation .
Speaker:Another influence on the level of
Speaker:self-discipline we have in our lives
Speaker:involves our relationship with time-not
Speaker:in the sense of scheduling or "making
Speaker:time," but how we reflect,
Speaker:act,
Speaker:and react with the notions of past,
Speaker:present,
Speaker:and future.
Speaker:With time orientation,
Speaker:in Stanford Professor Phil Zimbardo's
Speaker:(the professor best known for the
Speaker:Stanford prison experiment)
Speaker:book The Time Paradox,
Speaker:it is theorized that each of us can
Speaker:view time in one of three ways - past,
Speaker:present,
Speaker:and future.
Speaker:Our psyches tend to frame our
Speaker:experience using whatever orientation
Speaker:we're most acclimated to.
Speaker:Put simply,
Speaker:there are actual differences between
Speaker:those of us who are mired in nostalgia,
Speaker:versus those who are continually
Speaker:looking for the next step in life.
Speaker:Whatever time orientation our mindset
Speaker:reflects relates to how we expect and
Speaker:plan for rewards,
Speaker:which feeds into how self-disciplined
Speaker:we may be.
Speaker:More specifically,
Speaker:our attitudes toward the present and
Speaker:future come squarely into play.
Speaker:The past-oriented person makes all of
Speaker:their decisions from historical
Speaker:information or recall,
Speaker:and by definition they are generally
Speaker:separated from current situations or
Speaker:events.
Speaker:People stuck in the past don't have
Speaker:much use for the new and different,
Speaker:regarding them with suspicion,
Speaker:disdain,
Speaker:or even prejudice.
Speaker:Their thinking is almost inactive-which
Speaker:is not conducive to self-discipline.
Speaker:They will say,
Speaker:"Well,
Speaker:this is what I did in the past,
Speaker:so I'll just keep doing that."
Speaker:However,
Speaker:this type of thought is extremely rare,
Speaker:and we will spend more time on future-
Speaker:and present-oriented people.
Speaker:Someone who focuses on the present
Speaker:lives primarily in "the now."
Speaker:They react most powerfully to what
Speaker:their senses are showing them at the
Speaker:moment.
Speaker:They tend to be very concrete in their
Speaker:thinking,
Speaker:choosing to orient themselves toward
Speaker:"what is" rather than what happened in
Speaker:the past or what could happen in the
Speaker:future.
Speaker:The "present" mindset can be broken
Speaker:down even further into two distinct
Speaker:camps - those who embrace the
Speaker:possibilities of the present (we'll
Speaker:call them "hedonists")
Speaker:and those who don't like the present
Speaker:but feel they have no other choice but
Speaker:to live in it (we'll call them
Speaker:"fatalists").
Speaker:The present-hedonistic person finds
Speaker:opportunities in the current time and
Speaker:is happy to indulge in what's happening
Speaker:around them now.
Speaker:They're the ones who go to parties,
Speaker:embrace adventures in unfamiliar
Speaker:places,
Speaker:or interact with society on an ongoing
Speaker:basis.
Speaker:They're happy to take risks and don't
Speaker:necessarily care too much about the
Speaker:consequences (or have plans to mitigate
Speaker:the results if they have to).
Speaker:The present-fatalist person doesn't
Speaker:really want to be focused on the
Speaker:present,
Speaker:but they don't feel the future holds
Speaker:anything for them.
Speaker:They sense that somebody or something
Speaker:else-whether it's their social circle,
Speaker:financial realities,
Speaker:religion,
Speaker:or "luck"-is in control of their lives
Speaker:and consider the whole game of
Speaker:existence to be "rigged."
Speaker:Their expectations and hopes have been
Speaker:dashed,
Speaker:and they don't feel any need to work
Speaker:for the future because they don't
Speaker:believe they have one.
Speaker:What both of the present mindsets have
Speaker:in common is their attitude toward
Speaker:gratification.
Speaker:Since the past and the future don't
Speaker:come to mind,
Speaker:all that matters is momentary and
Speaker:fleeting pleasure.
Speaker:Both hedonists and fatalists are
Speaker:oriented toward the notion of instant
Speaker:gratification.
Speaker:Which one of these present mindsets is
Speaker:more suited to the process of building
Speaker:self-discipline?
Speaker:Neither of them.
Speaker:Self-discipline and instant
Speaker:gratification are opposing ideas.
Speaker:Self-discipline confers what instant
Speaker:gratification can never bring about -
Speaker:patience,
Speaker:restraint,
Speaker:full understanding,
Speaker:planning,
Speaker:responsibility.
Speaker:When you're oriented toward immediate
Speaker:reward,
Speaker:none of those other things matter.
Speaker:This is an appropriate time to invoke
Speaker:the fable of the ant and the
Speaker:grasshopper.
Speaker:Briefly speaking,
Speaker:the ant worked long and hard all year
Speaker:and never faltered from storing food
Speaker:and preparing for winter.
Speaker:The ant always knew what would matter
Speaker:in the long-term.
Speaker:The grasshopper,
Speaker:however,
Speaker:only did enough to get by day to day
Speaker:and didn't think about the winter.
Speaker:He only thought about maximizing his
Speaker:pleasure in the moment.
Speaker:When winter came,
Speaker:the ants fared just fine,
Speaker:if not annoyed at eating the same thing
Speaker:for months on end.
Speaker:The grasshopper starved from a lack of
Speaker:preparation.
Speaker:Present-oriented people are the
Speaker:grasshopper,
Speaker:while future-oriented people are ants.
Speaker:And you can guess which time
Speaker:orientation is more conducive to
Speaker:self-discipline.
Speaker:Those with future mindsets frame their
Speaker:lives differently.
Speaker:They aren't bound strictly to what the
Speaker:present has to offer (or deny)
Speaker:them.
Speaker:They are able to disconnect from it;
Speaker:concrete and empirical reality doesn't
Speaker:bind them.
Speaker:They focus on the future with all its
Speaker:distant possibilities and consequences.
Speaker:The future-oriented first think about
Speaker:the outcome they want,
Speaker:then work backward to how their actions
Speaker:create it.
Speaker:They do so without the distractions of
Speaker:the present.
Speaker:And even though they frequently work
Speaker:with abstract ideas and no guarantee of
Speaker:positive results,
Speaker:they still organize their thoughts and
Speaker:actions toward fulfillment of some
Speaker:future goal.
Speaker:In other words,
Speaker:the future-oriented have no problem
Speaker:with delayed gratification.
Speaker:They don't need instant affirmation or
Speaker:reward for their efforts.
Speaker:They understand that what's most
Speaker:important to them might take a little
Speaker:time to develop.
Speaker:Sometimes that means working in
Speaker:something that feels like a vacuum (or
Speaker:might seem like a vacuum to someone
Speaker:living in the present).
Speaker:But all it means is that the futurist
Speaker:is willing to forsake immediate
Speaker:satisfaction now for a more fulfilling
Speaker:and meaningful satisfaction
Speaker:later-possibly.
Speaker:That mindset is perfectly suited to
Speaker:someone with strong self-discipline.
Speaker:The futurist develops patience as a
Speaker:plank of their long-range planning.
Speaker:They keep the greater goal in mind
Speaker:rather than the annoyances that
Speaker:eventually get them there.
Speaker:This meshes well with other research on
Speaker:the matter showing that thinking about
Speaker:a literal future version of you is
Speaker:helpful in adhering to habits and
Speaker:accomplishing goals.
Speaker:Let's talk about this in terms of
Speaker:baseball.
Speaker:Most,
Speaker:if not all,
Speaker:baseball teams are under immense
Speaker:pressure from owners and fans to win
Speaker:now,
Speaker:which leads them to trade away some of
Speaker:their minor-league prospects for proven
Speaker:players who might be able to lead them
Speaker:to the promised land for a season or
Speaker:two.
Speaker:Sometimes it works,
Speaker:and the team makes the playoffs or
Speaker:might even win a championship.
Speaker:But they don't stay on top for too long
Speaker:because they dealt away too many of
Speaker:their future players for the one big
Speaker:gun that will help them win next week.
Speaker:But some teams-most recently the
Speaker:Houston Astros-spend a few years taking
Speaker:their lumps with players they developed
Speaker:with an eye toward the future.
Speaker:Their process was so unusual that
Speaker:Sports Illustrated did a cover story on
Speaker:the Astros in 2014 - "Baseball's Great
Speaker:Experiment - Your 2017 World Series
Speaker:Champs."
Speaker:The Astros wanted to build a core of
Speaker:great players that could help them
Speaker:contend on an annual basis,
Speaker:not just in a one-and-done scenario
Speaker:where they have a one- or two-year
Speaker:window.
Speaker:So they built up their farm system
Speaker:(their minor-league developing players)
Speaker:to sharpen and develop their skills,
Speaker:keeping them together through years of
Speaker:patience and losing,
Speaker:before they finally bloomed into a
Speaker:contending team with players they
Speaker:didn't cast off for the big shiny
Speaker:object.
Speaker:This set them back considerably in the
Speaker:short-term but paid off in the end.
Speaker:It required great discipline to not
Speaker:give in to temptations to stem the
Speaker:short-term pain.
Speaker:Such teams are built for long periods
Speaker:of success,
Speaker:and for the Astros,
Speaker:it brought them a World Series
Speaker:championship-in the year 2017,
Speaker:exactly as S. I. had predicted.
Speaker:It should be noted most of us are a
Speaker:blend of present and future-oriented
Speaker:thinking.
Speaker:This means that we end up with two
Speaker:distinct selves that we have to attend
Speaker:to and keep satisfied.
Speaker:They are quite aptly summed up with the
Speaker:hedonist grasshopper (present)
Speaker:and blue-collar ant (future)
Speaker:from earlier.
Speaker:If you compromise the two equally,
Speaker:it results in an ant that takes breaks
Speaker:while diligently working toward a goal
Speaker:and the grasshopper that realizes that
Speaker:discomfort is required in life.
Speaker:That's really the best we can expect in
Speaker:everyday life.
Speaker:The concept of time orientations should
Speaker:force you to consider and skew your
Speaker:view toward the future.
Speaker:Future you is trying to build a
Speaker:foundation for their success.
Speaker:He's the one that has your best
Speaker:interests in mind.
Speaker:Self-discipline is an irreplaceable
Speaker:part of that foundation.
Speaker:It's Up To You .
Speaker:The obstacles to self-discipline as
Speaker:we've outlined them so far might seem
Speaker:like a big load to handle.
Speaker:And they are;
Speaker:most people never break through any of
Speaker:them and it reflects in their lives.
Speaker:You yourself might be wondering if it's
Speaker:beyond your reach or capabilities - "Am
Speaker:I really capable of breaking through
Speaker:and developing the willpower I need to
Speaker:do what I need to do?"
Speaker:As the saying goes,
Speaker:"Whether you think you can or you
Speaker:can't,
Speaker:you're right."
Speaker:When it comes to developing willpower,
Speaker:the most important factor might not be
Speaker:your mental or physical abilities or
Speaker:the range of what you can accomplish.
Speaker:Rather,
Speaker:it may simply be your belief that you
Speaker:can develop willpower.
Speaker:A study by researcher Veronika Job
Speaker:examined university students over a
Speaker:single scholastic term.
Speaker:Job asked the students to evaluate
Speaker:themselves on their ability to maintain
Speaker:willpower over the course of a given
Speaker:task-whether they need to take a break
Speaker:after a run of tough work or whether
Speaker:their endurance "fueled itself" and
Speaker:allowed them to keep going.
Speaker:Across the board,
Speaker:the students who believed that their
Speaker:willpower was unlimited did better in
Speaker:several measures.
Speaker:They regulated their activities better,
Speaker:kept procrastination at bay,
Speaker:got better grades,
Speaker:and were even better at eating right
Speaker:and maintaining physical health.
Speaker:On the other side,
Speaker:students who said they needed to
Speaker:recharge themselves from time to time
Speaker:were especially beset by
Speaker:procrastination,
Speaker:often made poor dietary decisions,
Speaker:and found themselves easily distracted.
Speaker:They even spent more
Speaker:money-theoretically while they were
Speaker:distracting themselves with online
Speaker:destinations.
Speaker:Job's results indicated that those
Speaker:students who were convinced of their
Speaker:own abilities and really believed they
Speaker:had more willpower actually did.
Speaker:Their self-messaging turned out to be a
Speaker:crucial element in their superior
Speaker:performance,
Speaker:to the point where it couldn't simply
Speaker:be coincidence.
Speaker:Score another point for the placebo
Speaker:effect.
Speaker:This is great news because it implies
Speaker:that although building willpower is a
Speaker:challenge,
Speaker:a huge part of the solution is simply
Speaker:believing that you can do it.
Speaker:We have exactly as much willpower as we
Speaker:think we do.
Speaker:Building self-discipline is your choice
Speaker:and yours alone-it's all up to you.
Speaker:Nobody and nothing else have as much
Speaker:influence in the attainment of your
Speaker:goals.
Speaker:It doesn't matter how your brain is
Speaker:wired or where you are oriented with
Speaker:regards to time.
Speaker:What overrides those is your belief in
Speaker:yourself.
Speaker:Ultimately,
Speaker:this ends up being a good thing because
Speaker:it places the power in your hands.
Speaker:Whether you can or cannot be
Speaker:disciplined is up to you.
Speaker:For some,
Speaker:this is a freeing thought to determine
Speaker:one's behavior and actions.
Speaker:By producing your own incentive and
Speaker:making self-discipline its own reward,
Speaker:you'll see positive effects unveil
Speaker:themselves on a daily,
Speaker:gradual basis.
Speaker:These benefits include the following,
Speaker:which you can also feel free to factor
Speaker:into your pleasure principle
Speaker:cost-benefit analysis.
Speaker:Avoiding temptation.
Speaker:The self-disciplined mind knows that
Speaker:fighting temptation is a Herculean task.
Speaker:Even the strongest-minded person might
Speaker:feel a tinge of enticement when they're
Speaker:walking past the window of an ice cream
Speaker:shop where there's a huge color display
Speaker:of a towering sundae hanging in the
Speaker:window.
Speaker:Unless you hate ice cream,
Speaker:you'll feel a twinge.
Speaker:But what self-discipline helps you do
Speaker:is avoid the temptation-pass the shop
Speaker:by without feeling the need to indulge.
Speaker:This is because self-discipline helps
Speaker:you control and direct yourself when
Speaker:there are clashing internal forces at
Speaker:work.
Speaker:Your mind won't focus on the
Speaker:deprivation aspect - it'll concentrate
Speaker:on the good you're producing.
Speaker:More life satisfaction.
Speaker:Those who practice self-discipline
Speaker:frequently report that they're happier
Speaker:than people who don't.
Speaker:This reality flies in the face the idea
Speaker:that self-discipline means not having
Speaker:any fun.
Speaker:What you're trying to get on the
Speaker:pathway of self-control will be a
Speaker:thousand times more gratifying than the
Speaker:rewards of an immediate thrill-it's
Speaker:just going to take a little longer.
Speaker:Patience can be frustrating.
Speaker:When you live in a society like we do,
Speaker:where instant pleasure is relatively
Speaker:easy to pursue,
Speaker:it can really be hard to walk a line of
Speaker:restraint and control,
Speaker:especially when you have friends who
Speaker:constantly live for the moment.
Speaker:But what you're after is bigger than
Speaker:that - you want to create a more
Speaker:satisfying and contented lifetime.
Speaker:That's something that only
Speaker:self-discipline and continued focus
Speaker:will bring.
Speaker:When it does,
Speaker:it'll be much more meaningful and
Speaker:satisfying than those brief,
Speaker:isolated diversions.
Speaker:You do more of what you want.
Speaker:On a similar note,
Speaker:those who take up a life of
Speaker:self-discipline are often imagined as
Speaker:"not doing" things.
Speaker:They're not up to date on the current
Speaker:hit T. V. shows;
Speaker:they're not hanging out with their bar
Speaker:friends on a nightly basis;
Speaker:they're not traveling to Fort
Speaker:Lauderdale on spring break.
Speaker:In some way or another,
Speaker:they're perceived as being left out-but
Speaker:that's only according to other people's
Speaker:concept of fun.
Speaker:In reality,
Speaker:the self-disciplined person is giving
Speaker:themselves more opportunity to do what
Speaker:they actually want to do.
Speaker:This comes about in two ways.
Speaker:First,
Speaker:you have the ability to position
Speaker:yourself for success and do what needs
Speaker:to be done.
Speaker:This leaves time for the interests you
Speaker:want to pursue,
Speaker:and it can even be just a lazy
Speaker:afternoon of television.
Speaker:Second,
Speaker:you have the discipline to do
Speaker:challenging things that you want.
Speaker:You might want to climb a set of
Speaker:mountains or run a marathon.
Speaker:Self-discipline is how you do them.
Speaker:They're doing activities that are
Speaker:rewarding and enriching-and they're
Speaker:doing them because they've disciplined
Speaker:themselves to be able to do them and
Speaker:appreciate them.
Speaker:You gain ultimate freedom.
Speaker:Actually,
Speaker:you're MORE in the moment.
Speaker:Taking the road to self-discipline is a
Speaker:constant process that frequently
Speaker:requires you to make choices.
Speaker:You need to be fully aware of the
Speaker:decisions that can help you the most.
Speaker:Sometimes opportunities will arise out
Speaker:of nowhere - a chance to talk with
Speaker:someone who's been down your path
Speaker:before and can give you some advice or
Speaker:support or an activity like yoga that
Speaker:can help you develop more mental
Speaker:stamina and concentration.
Speaker:These opportunities seem to arise for
Speaker:people who are working on
Speaker:self-discipline,
Speaker:but it's not magic.
Speaker:It's because you're more aware and
Speaker:attuned to things that will help you
Speaker:get to where you want to go.
Speaker:The self-disciplined mind isn't shut
Speaker:off-far from it.
Speaker:It's looking for and recognizing those
Speaker:chances all the time.
Speaker:You're more aware of what's happening
Speaker:around you.
Speaker:You're not missing anything.
Speaker:You're just making a different choice.
Speaker:Setting boundaries.
Speaker:Chances are,
Speaker:you have at least one or two good
Speaker:friends or relations who will be
Speaker:thrilled to support you in any way they
Speaker:can.
Speaker:But let's face it - there will also be
Speaker:a few of them who will try-knowingly or
Speaker:otherwise-to knock you off your path to
Speaker:self-discipline.
Speaker:"C'mon,
Speaker:you can miss a gym session.
Speaker:There's beer and a game of Call of Duty
Speaker:with your name on it."
Speaker:Self-discipline helps you identify
Speaker:those conflicts before they begin and
Speaker:can make you stand your ground.
Speaker:It can also build your resolve to
Speaker:resist the pleadings and guilt-tripping
Speaker:of others who might not be that
Speaker:understanding of your goal to improve
Speaker:yourself.
Speaker:Knowing yourself.
Speaker:Finally,
Speaker:self-discipline is one of the best ways
Speaker:to find out who you really are and what
Speaker:you really value-in a real-world
Speaker:setting.
Speaker:At times our situations can seem so
Speaker:bothersome or troubling that we can't
Speaker:imagine any course other than escape.
Speaker:But in those scenarios,
Speaker:you're not just escaping hardship or
Speaker:the world - you're also escaping
Speaker:yourself.
Speaker:Self-discipline is a means to reject
Speaker:the traits of reaction and retreat.
Speaker:It gives you something to actively work
Speaker:on every day and forces you to make
Speaker:decisions and take actions based on
Speaker:what you really need.
Speaker:Through that process,
Speaker:you will learn more about yourself than
Speaker:you ever have before.
Speaker:You'll see why you made certain
Speaker:decisions in the past,
Speaker:and you'll understand what kind of
Speaker:person you really are.
Speaker:Takeaways - .
Speaker:Summary .
Speaker:* Self-discipline is the act of putting
Speaker:mind over matter and dictating exactly
Speaker:what your actions and behaviors are.
Speaker:But control over the mind is like
Speaker:saying you want to take a casual stroll
Speaker:to the surface of the sun.
Speaker:It's not easy and it must be reined in
Speaker:constantly for you to even have a
Speaker:chance of self-discipline.
Speaker:As it turns out,
Speaker:there are many obstacles to acting
Speaker:disciplined and controlling yourself.
Speaker:* Buddhism teaches five mental
Speaker:hindrances to self-discipline - giving
Speaker:in to the five senses,
Speaker:animosity and malice,
Speaker:apathy and laziness,
Speaker:anxiety and remorse,
Speaker:and hesitation and doubt.
Speaker:The common thread is that they all
Speaker:require immediate and urgent attention,
Speaker:even if it is fabricated urgency.
Speaker:When you are so focused on the now,
Speaker:the later that self-discipline serves
Speaker:becomes wholly unimportant.
Speaker:* Another aspect of being unable to
Speaker:move past the present moment and plan
Speaker:for the future is how the
Speaker:neurotransmitter dopamine influences
Speaker:our actions.
Speaker:Humans abide by the pleasure principle;
Speaker:we seek pleasure and avoid pain
Speaker:whenever possible,
Speaker:even subconsciously.
Speaker:Acting self-disciplined very rarely
Speaker:brings you pleasure,
Speaker:and most of the time it actively brings
Speaker:some measure of pain or at least
Speaker:discomfort.
Speaker:That's a problem.
Speaker:We must change the way we think about
Speaker:pleasure and pain,
Speaker:and who we want to benefit the most -
Speaker:in most cases,
Speaker:your future self.
Speaker:* Time orientation is yet another
Speaker:problem with self-discipline.
Speaker:Some of us are present-oriented-this
Speaker:will not serve you well because you
Speaker:won't be able to act in the best
Speaker:interests of future you.
Speaker:Others of us are future-oriented-we
Speaker:think about what we want in the future
Speaker:and work backward to create it.
Speaker:This perspective meshes much better
Speaker:with self-discipline.
Speaker:In the fable of the ant and the
Speaker:grasshopper,
Speaker:the diligent ant is future-oriented and
Speaker:survives the winter,
Speaker:while the hedonistic grasshopper is
Speaker:present-oriented and starves.
Speaker:* In the end,
Speaker:despite all of these obstacles,
Speaker:whether or not you have self-discipline
Speaker:is up to you.
Speaker:This is in a literal sense-the placebo
Speaker:effect has shown that however much you
Speaker:believe you have,
Speaker:that's what you'll have.
Speaker:This is empowering and freeing because
Speaker:it means there is nothing between you
Speaker:and what you want-besides you.
Speaker:It's up to you.
Speaker:This is actually ultimate freedom,
Speaker:not restriction,
Speaker:as self-discipline is sometimes framed.
Speaker:Take it as a challenge to be overcome.
Speaker:This has been
Speaker:Mind Over Matter:
Speaker:The Self-Discipline to Execute Without Excuses,
Speaker:Control Your Impulses,
Speaker:and Keep Going When You Want to Give Up
Speaker:Written by
Speaker:Peter Hollins, narrated by russell newton.
