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Unleash Your Happy Brain: Neuroscience Secrets For Health, Wealth & Love | Book 11 By Peter Hollins
00:00:00 Hello Listeners
00:01:49 What Stress Does to Your Brain
00:07:44 Keeping Stress at Bay
00:13:09 The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
Happy Brain, Happy Life: Everyday Neuroscience of Health, Wealth, and Love (Think Smarter, Not Harder Book 11) By Peter Hollins
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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D9HVNBH4
Discover the power of your brain and unlock the secrets to happiness, health, wealth, and love with "Happy Brain, Happy Life" by bestselling author Peter Hollins. In this groundbreaking book, Peter reveals how to use neuroscience principles to rewire your mind for success and fulfillment.
In today's episode, we dive deep into the fascinating world of neuroscience and explore practical methods to reshape your brain for a happier life. We'll discuss:
- The science behind happiness and why our brains often steer us towards negativity
- Proven techniques to boost serotonin levels naturally and combat depression
- Stress management strategies that actually work by targeting neural networks
- The 478 breathing technique, a simple yet effective way to calm your mind in seconds
- How stories shape our perception and how we can use them to our advantage
- Dopamine's role in goal-setting and motivation
Whether you're looking for ways to improve your mental health, build wealth, or strengthen relationships, Peter Hollins' neuroscience-based approach provides the key to unlocking a happier and more fulfilling life. Get ready to think smarter, not harder!
Don't just take my word for it – listen to this podcast episode and watch the accompanying YouTube video to start your journey towards a happy brain and an extraordinary life today.
Transcript
What would it look like if you could be your own therapist?
Speaker:3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:32,280 This is not a hypothetical question. Literally imagine it now—how would you talk to yourself if you were responsible for providing your own mental health care?
Speaker:5 00:00:32,280 --> 00:01:09,240 Maybe you think that a really good counselor or psychologist is extra caring and compassionate, non-judgmental, non-directive, wise, and mature. Well, the good news is that if you want to, you can provide all these things for yourself without a stitch of formal training.
Speaker:7 00:01:09,240 --> 00:02:31,880 There’s something else, however, that therapists are really good at, and it’s how we began this chapter: asking questions. A therapist doesn’t tell you what you are feeling, what’s wrong with you, or how to solve your problems. Instead, they are curious. They ask what you are feeling, ask you to look at how you are functioning, and point you toward your own inner resources so you can start to solve your problems yourself. Why do they do this? Because they know that your life gets better when you are more aware. Telling somebody something doesn’t increase their awareness. Asking them a question does.
Speaker:9 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:58,720 If you want to become your own therapist, you need to get good at asking yourself the right kind of question. The “right kind” means those questions that create more awareness and shed light on new solutions, unconscious material, possibilities, and alternatives.
Speaker:11 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:48,360 Self-questioning is a way to peek outside of the current boundaries and limitations of the problem we’re experiencing. It’s a way to find insight. What’s important here is that when you ask this kind of question, you are not doing so in order to find the correct answer. You are doing so because the process of thinking about the answer is what provides insight . . . and gets you to step outside the box of your current predicament.
Speaker:13 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:53,720 Ask yourself the right questions and you can
Speaker:15 00:03:53,720 --> 00:04:00,760 • Educate yourself about your problem
Speaker:17 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:06,560 • Clarify what you want to achieve
Speaker:19 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:11,640 • Assess your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and behaviors
Speaker:21 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,360 • Gain insight into recurring patterns
Speaker:23 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,280 • See solutions and new alternatives
Speaker:25 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:24,800 • Find forgiveness, understanding, and compassion for your present position
Speaker:27 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:56,200 We can ask questions about our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors. We can ask them about the past, the future, or the present. We can ask fantastical hypothetical questions, or real, concrete ones. We can ask whatever we like—there are no limits. In a therapy session, a counselor will use questions like a flashlight, shining a beam of awareness onto areas of your life that you may not have looked too closely at before.
Speaker:29 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,640 Here are a few common ones:
Speaker:31 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,600 • What am I feeling now?
Speaker:33 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,120 • What am I thinking now?
Speaker:35 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:06,640 • In general, what do I think and feel in this situation?
Speaker:37 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:14,080 • When are the times when I feel better, stronger, clearer, more capable?
Speaker:39 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:19,440 • What is one thing (no matter how small) that I can change right now?
Speaker:41 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,600 • What am I avoiding right now?
Speaker:43 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:32,120 • If my friend was going through the same struggle as I am, how would I make sense of their situation? What would I say to them?
Speaker:45 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,400 • Are my thoughts distorted in any way?
Speaker:47 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,520 • Do I have any evidence for my assumptions?
Speaker:49 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,320 • What am I actually afraid of here?
Speaker:51 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:48,720 • How would I behave right now if I were the best version of myself?
Speaker:53 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:53,880 • How am I making sense of my situation?
Speaker:55 00:05:53,880 --> 00:06:02,040 • If the worst thing happened, would it really be the end of the world (you may recognize these from an earlier chapter!)
Speaker:57 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,040 • Are there any unproven assumptions I’m making right now?
Speaker:59 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:12,520 • Have I felt this way before? What helped back then? What didn’t?
Speaker:61 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,360 • What core belief is activated right now?
Speaker:63 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:21,920 • Will any of this matter in one year’s time? In ten years?
Speaker:65 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:24,440 • What are my values?
Speaker:67 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,200 • What do I ultimately want to achieve?
Speaker:69 00:06:28,200 --> 00:07:15,480 Before we continue, though, a word of warning: Just asking a question is not the same as self-therapy, and it’s not the same as actually doing something about your problem. A question can shed light on an issue, but that’s all. It’s still your job to take action inspired by what you learn. The above questions may be more or less useful for you, but it all depends on your unique situation. A therapist will know the right question to ask at the right time. But if we are our own therapists, we need to pay close attention and make sure we’re not getting carried away with meaningless analysis that doesn’t go anywhere.
Speaker:71 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:44,280 One tip: avoid asking why. This seems like a reasonable thing to ask, but it actually doesn’t provide any insight, only the illusion of insight. Such a question might keep you trapped within a certain perceptual box rather than showing you a way out of that box. Look at the following conversation Clara could potentially have with herself as her own therapist:
Speaker:73 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,760 Why are you so anxious about everything all the time?
Speaker:75 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:53,400 I don’t know. Maybe it’s my mother. She was always like that. Maybe I learned it from her.
Speaker:77 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:53,400
Speaker:79 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,520 Why?..
Speaker:81 00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:04,000 I think I always wanted her approval or something. I think I wanted to be like her in many ways, so I unconsciously mimicked her.
Speaker:83 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,880 Why did you want to be like her?
Speaker:85 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:29,640 I think I grew up in that generation where little girls were kind of expected to be just like their mothers. And I actually did admire her in many ways. But I also think that there’s a cultural expectation for women to be quite neurotic at times, you know? All the women around me were a bit like that.
Speaker:87 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker:89 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,160 Why?..
Speaker:91 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:39,200 I’m not sure. It’s probably a social conditioning thing. Then again, it could be genes . . .
Speaker:93 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:44,520 Asking why seldom yields genuine insight.
Speaker:95 00:08:44,520 --> 00:09:22,280 Why?.. Jokes aside, it’s because you don’t know the answer! For Clara, it’s not really important where her anxiety comes from or who’s to blame. She could write the above kind of material in a journal for an hour every day and still be no closer to being less anxious in everyday life. If you lack insight, chewing over the same bits of information over and over again will not magically create fresh insight. You will simply reinforce all the same old assumptions, coming to faulty conclusions or going round in circles.
Speaker:97 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:49,080 What matters is what is happening, how, and when. What matters is her scope of action to choose to do something different. It’s useless to try to guess reasons (none of which can be proven or disproven, by the way), but it will be useful for Clara to get clear on what she wants and what concrete action she can take right now to bring her closer to that.
Speaker:99 00:09:49,080 --> 00:10:31,000 Be careful about churning psychological material round and round in your own head and convincing yourself that this somehow equates to making change, learning about yourself, or solving problems. As you can see in the conversation above, nothing new is learned, and no shift in perception is achieved. The only thing such a dialogue can achieve is creating the illusion that you know yourself very well and are keenly on top of your own issue—while at the same time being as ignorant as ever and doing precisely zero to change the conditions of your life in real terms!
Speaker:101 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker:The Miracle Question.
Speaker:104 00:10:35,520 --> 00:11:25,920 No matter what predicament you are currently facing, there is one particular question that has been shown to be pretty helpful in creating insight. Does the “miracle question make miracles”? In therapy, it does. For the therapist, the intervention can help find clients' hidden strengths as well as new solutions to their problems (Yu, 2019). The miracle question opens doors to new possibilities because it essentially asks you to imagine what things would be like if things were different, better, and problems were solved (Strong & Pyle, 2009). This is a powerful question to ask because it focuses your mind not on the problem or on what isn’t working, but on solutions, potentials, and options.
Speaker:106 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:49,200 In solution-focused therapy, the client imagines and talks about a world where all the current problems don't exist and every issue is already dealt with. What does that look like? Just imagining it can help unlock ideas that were previously hidden by a focus on the lack or difficulty in the present.
Speaker:108 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,720 The question can be asked in different ways:
Speaker:110 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,920 • “Assume your problem has been solved. What has changed?"
Speaker:112 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:06,040 • “Assume your problem is gone. What does this mean to you?” (Strong & Pyle, 2009, p. 334).
Speaker:114 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:24,520 • “Suppose tonight, while you are asleep, a miracle happens. Because you were asleep, you didn't know it had happened, but everything you ever wanted is now there, and all your problems are gone. You now have your perfect life. When you wake in the morning, how will you be able to tell that the miracle has happened?”
Speaker:116 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:57,200 This last bit is important. How will you be able to tell that the miracle has occurred? What will you see? Hear? Touch? What kind of a person will you be? What are your thoughts, feelings, actions? What would your world have to look like for you to wake up and encounter it in the morning and exclaim “it’s a miracle”? What would other people see and notice for them to think the same thing?
Speaker:118 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:33,080 When you ask this question, really give yourself the time to answer it fully. Close your eyes and immerse yourself in a possible answer. Don’t jump in with “yes, but . . .” or reasons for why the miracle can’t happen. Just assume it did, no matter how unlikely or crazy that seems to you right now. Become curious about what you notice after this miracle has completely come and gone. Be creative! If you can, spend up to ten minutes doing this exercise and dwell on each detail.
Speaker:120 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:50,920 Then what? Remember that we are not just asking questions for nothing. Our insight only counts if we channel it into useful, value-driven, goal-oriented behavior that makes our lives better. Let’s look at how that could happen.
Speaker:122 00:13:50,920 --> 00:14:22,560 Let’s say Clara asks herself the Miracle Question and fleshes out a full answer. Clara is an anxious overthinker who can’t help catastrophizing and assuming the worst outcome on zero evidence. Her core belief, if you remember, is something like, “The world can’t be trusted and I am not safe.” She knows that she is anxious. She imagines that one day, she wakes up and a miracle has occurred. How would she know?
Speaker:124 00:14:22,560 --> 00:15:33,520 She imagines herself relaxed, joyful, balanced. She really feels into this sensation of calm control, of feeling trust in herself and the world at large. It’s quite a luxurious feeling! She knows a miracle has happened because when she encounters a stressful trigger, she doesn’t care. It means nothing to her. In fact, she finds herself exploring all kinds of interesting new possibilities in this miracle world. If she truly miraculously felt safe in life, would she stay at her job? Stay with her boring but stable husband? She follows the visualization wherever it takes her. She would travel. She would try new things and take more risks. She’d dress more creatively, take up painting, and be less afraid of speaking her mind in conversations. If she truly felt safe in herself and in the world, she realizes, she’d suddenly feel creative, inspired, curious . . . how different life would look!
Speaker:126 00:15:33,520 --> 00:16:03,320 Once she opens her eyes, it’s time to put this understanding into practice. Clara now goes about her normal life again, but the next time she faces a stressful trigger or notices herself going into catastrophizing mode, she stops and asks, “How would I behave if the miracle had happened?” Then she does that. That’s important—she needs to act, not just imagine.
Speaker:128 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:32,480 She’s scrolling on her phone (kryptonite for anxious overthinkers!) and stumbles upon a panic-inducing news report about nuclear war. She can’t help the automatic thought that pops into her mind: “The whole thing is hopeless. Sooner or later, humans are going to blow themselves to smithereens, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” She looks at this thought and imagines how she would appraise it if the miracle had happened.
Speaker:130 00:16:32,480 --> 00:17:19,880 Well, she would feel a moment of stress, but then realize that there really isn’t anything she can do, and that stressing about it won’t change a thing. So why voluntarily stress? If she had trust in herself (and perhaps even in a higher power), she would put away her phone and decide to be grateful for her life, to live right now, and to refuse to be guided by fear. If she wanted to, she could take conscious action that would work to reinforce her values, like donating to a refugee support program. Or maybe she’d go into the other room, hug her husband, and then carry on with creating the life she actually wants—like putting in a few hours of practice painting!
Speaker:132 00:17:19,880 --> 00:18:07,960 Every morning, Clara reminds herself of the miracle question and how it felt to be outside of her current problem of anxiety. Remember, it’s not only a verbal or intellectual exercise—she is trying not only to think something different, but to really feel it. Every evening, she looks at how her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors have changed. It will sound cheesy, but one day, Clara will wake up and she will be living that miracle. The exercise will seem boring to her because she is no longer imagining anything. It’s real.
Speaker:134 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:37,000 • Self-therapy is about compassion but also about asking the right questions. The miracle question in particular asks us to imagine that the problem is already solved and to think about what that looks like. This helps us focus on solutions and possibilities. However, it’s important to actually apply these insights and take appropriate action.
Speaker:136 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,920
