Thinking About Thankfulness

We associate the emotion of gratitude with thankfulness for whatever comes into our lives, positive or not. Although the adage of being grateful for what we have is well- known, it’s not always a practice we grasp, even though there’s always something to be grateful for. Still, studies have shown that just being aware of or questioning your gratitude—even if you can’t think of anything to appreciate off the top of your head—can create some powerful chemical changes.

For example, stop reading for a minute and consider five things you’re grateful for.

They don’t need to be big accomplishments or achievements; they can be simple parts of everyday living. “I have clean air to breathe,” “I have family and friends who love me,” “I have a place to sleep,” “I live in interesting times.” Now compare this to the everyday life of someone in abject poverty who’s struggling to make ends meet and is on the brink of starvation. Or consider the tale of a ballet dancer who had to have her feet amputated (or something similarly morbid and unfortunate).

You might not have noticed any immediate changes, but a slight feeling of acceptance and perspective probably just entered your mind. You may not have everything that you want (none of us ever do), but your life is still pretty darn good. And it’s been scientifically proven that gratitude is more or less a natural antidepressant.

Thinking about or asking what you’re grateful for activates certain neural circuits that produce dopamine and serotonin, the neurotransmitters that regulate our pleasure centers and mood levels. They then travel the neural pathways to the “bliss” center of the brain, much like a prescribed antidepressant. The more you stimulate these neural pathways, the stronger and more automatic they become, and the more your resilience and calm become a natural way of living.

Hebb’s law states, “Neurons that fire together wire together.” We see this proverb at work in everyday life. When you’re walking through a forest for the first time, you’re forging a new path that can provide challenges. But the more you travel that path, the more defined and easier to follow it becomes.

So it works with the human brain. The more a neural pathway is activated, the less effort it takes to animate it the next time. Since the practice of mental gratitude greases the neurons, simple, short daily meditations on your appreciation can actually ease your tension on a biological level.

The researchers’ instructions to the gratitude journalists encouraged them to note any facet of their lives they were grateful for, regardless of importance: “There are many things in our lives, both large and small, that we might be grateful about. Think back over the past week and write down on the lines below up to five things in your life that you are grateful or thankful for.” For journalists who were given the task of writing down their annoyances, the researchers said: “Hassles are irritants— things that annoy or bother you. They occur in various domains of life, including relationships, work, school, housing, finances, health, and so forth. Think back over today and, on the lines below, list up to five hassles that occurred in your life.” The results were predictably persuasive.

The gratitude journalists showed greater increases in determination, attention, enthusiasm, and energy. Their findings showed gratitude to be a powerful social and spiritual accelerator: The experience of gratitude, and the actions stimulated by it, build and strengthen social bonds and friendships. Moreover, encouraging people to focus on the benefits they have received from others leads them to feel loved and cared for by others... Therefore, gratitude appears to build friendships and other social bonds. These are social resources because, in times of need, these social bonds are wellsprings to be tapped for the provision of social support.

Gratitude, thus, is a form of love, a consequence of an already formed attachment as well as a precipitating condition for the formation of new affectional bonds... Gratitude is also likely to build and strengthen a sense of spirituality, given the strong historical association between gratitude and religion... Finally, to the extent that gratitude, like other positive emotions, broadens the scope of cognition and enables flexible and creative thinking, it also facilitates coping with stress and adversity.

Just as tellingly, the study proved that realizing that other people are worse off does not equal gratitude. Rather, gratitude is an appreciation of the positive aspects of your own situation. Emmons and McCullough’s findings could inspire you to try journaling yourself. Putting your thoughts in writing is almost always a good practice.

Start out by writing down five things that you’re grateful for. Make a conscious effort to reflect upon the things that bring you joy, elation, or peace of mind. As we’ve said, there’s always something to be thankful for in a given situation. It might bring you additional perspective to write five things you have that most people do not have.

Sometimes it’s only through contrast that we can truly keep gratitude in mind.

Commit to this practice every day for the next ten days. Keep a journal by your bed and take a minute before sleeping to recall the events of the day that made you smile.

Or start a list on your smartphone to write pleasant events down as they happen (also a quick pick-me-up when you’re not having a great day). You can also find an “accountability partner” to keep a list like yours. Every week, you can check in for five minutes and read your lists to each other.

This practice can turn gratitude into your own mental gym—strength training for your neural pathways. The more you practice the act of gratitude, the healthier that muscle gets. Just like in physical gyms, the more you show up and work the gratitude angle, the easier the workouts get.

We get used to whatever situations surround us without much effort. Initiating gratitude in all walks of our own lives might be a more trying task or even impractical in certain situations. When was the last time you turned the key in your car’s ignition and praised the miracles of the internal combustion engine? Have you ever taken a walk through a city park and expressed thanks for arch supports? Do you take time from work to appreciate the craft and convenience of your hole punch or stapler? The central point is that gratitude is simple to execute, but not always easy to maintain.

There’s nothing wrong about expressing annoyances over little inconveniences, but letting those irritations inform the core of our beings is ill-advised. We’ve seen how our brain transforms itself based on even our smallest impulses. If we can make gratitude a more constant and consistent impulse, our brains will see to it that our happiness improves.