Navigating Obstacles And Failure

Even with the best techniques and a well-honed plan for learning, it can be challenging to learn new things when you have to be both the student and teacher. This isn't because of the material itself; the techniques we've covered really can help you master and overcome any difficulty you'll find there. No, the real challenge is overcoming our own self-doubt, anxiety, and the universal tendency we have to be easily discouraged.

In this chapter, you'll find tips to help you overcome the thoughts and emotions that hold you back. We will learn to beat our own barriers that lead us to self-sabotage. In the first chapter, we saw that disempowering myths held us back out of a lack of belief. Our mental state, emotions, and inner voice telling us we can't do it are far more damaging than any archenemy could be. If these elements can affect you so much in learning, it's almost frightening to imagine how much impact they have on how you live your life.

The Procrastination Cycle

The first obstacle we will inevitably face is our overwhelming urge to procrastinate and push things off until tomorrow, later, or some other time when we feel like it.

To effectively battle it, we must understand the cycle in which it resides and keeps us from our textbooks, notes, or lectures.

In some ways, the existence of a cycle is a relief because it means that beating procrastination isn't so much about reaching deep inside yourself and relying on your guts to get the job done (although sometimes that part cannot be avoided). It's actually about understanding the cycle of laziness and disrupting it before you get sucked into it.

It's the equivalent of understanding how to use a certain physics equation to solve a problem versus trying to solve the problem differently each time and sometimes just trying out twenty different possibilities. When you know what you're looking for, you're going to be far more effective. In practical terms, this means that doing what you need to do will be much less of a struggle in the end.

There are five main phases of the cycle that explain why you tend to keep sitting on your butt even though you know you shouldn't be. It further explains how you justify sitting on your butt and even how you'll probably sit on your butt even more decisively the next time. We can follow along with an example of reading a textbook.

1. Unhelpful assumptions or made-up rules: "Life is short, so I should enjoy it and not spend my precious time reading that boring textbook! Textbooks are only for when professors are lazy, anyway."

2. Increasing discomfort: "I'd rather not read the textbook. It's boring and uncomfortable. I know I have class in two hours, but it can wait."

3. Excuses for procrastination to decrease psychological discomfort: "It's perfectly reasonable for me not to read the textbook. It's so hot. I need to cool down first and not melt. I'm pretty sure everyone else in my class is in the same boat, and no one will have read it."

4. Avoidance activities to decrease psychological discomfort: "I will clean the bathroom instead. I'm still productive! I'll also arrange my desk. Lots of things getting done today. I did pretty well today, all things considered. What textbook?"

5. Negative and positive consequences: "Ah, I feel better about myself now. Cleanliness all around. Oh, wait. I still need to read that textbook, and class time is getting closer and closer . . ."

Which brings us full circle: the textbook is not read, and your assumptions remain the same if not reinforced, only this time, there's even more discomfort that you want to avoid immediately. And so it goes on. Once you're in the cycle, it's hard to get over the increasing inertia keeping you from getting the task done.

Let's take a look at each of the phases individually. We'll start right from the top; this is where you are either failing to start a task or to complete a task already underway. You know you should do these things and they are in your best interest. However, you've already made the decision against self-discipline, so what goes through your mind?

Unhelpful Assumptions or Made-Up Rules

If you feel like you don't want to start or follow through with something, it's not due to simple laziness or "I don't feel like it right now." It's about the beliefs and assumptions that underlie these feelings. What are some of these unhelpful assumptions or made-up rules?

My life should be about seeking pleasure, having fun, and enjoying myself. Anything that conflicts with that shouldn't be allowed. We all fall into this at one time or another. Pleasure-seeking is where you feel that life is too short to pass up something fun, interesting, or pleasant in favor of things that may seem boring or hard. Fun is the priority! At the very least, you believe that the current short-term pleasure is more important than a long-term payoff.

This is the true meaning of "I don't feel like it right now" - you are actually saying, "I want to do something more pleasurable than that right now."

I need X, Y, or Z to get to work, and if they are not present, I am excused. Sometimes you just can't muster up the energy to do something. You may feel tired, stressed, depressed, or unmotivated, and you use that as your "reason" for not getting things done. You have to be "ready." You need X, Y, and Z to start properly. You have to be in the mood. All these so-called requirements were conjured by you; none of them actually reflect reality.

I probably won't do it right, so I just won't do it at all. You may fall into the assumption that you must do things perfectly every time or else it will be labeled a failure. This is a fear of failure and rejection, and it also involves a lack of self-confidence. You don't want others to think less of you. And how do you ensure that neither of these things happen? You don't do it. You don't start it, and you don't finish it. There won't be failure or disappointment because you don't allow the opportunity for judgment.

If you feel that you need to do something that goes against your beliefs, you will only do it when absolutely necessary. This is a reality of human behavior, as is the fact that these beliefs are usually subconscious. So what happens if you are told to do household chores but you possess the first two beliefs of "fun comes first" and "I need perfect conditions"? You'll have fun first and then wait for a large set of preconditions, and the chores will go undone. The rest of the cycle is what keeps them undone.