How Is Ethical Hedonism Different From Hedonism?

How is Ethical Hedonism Different from Hedonism?

The trouble with hedonism and its various philosophies is that it doesn’t really clarify what form pleasure should take.

Helping out a friend you love, sitting in the sunshine eating ice cream, and using heroin are all pleasurable activities, but few would argue that they were all the same kind of pleasure! While simple hedonism is merely going down the path that feels better, ethical hedonism is a basis for a complete life philosophy and moral code.

An ethical hedonist will seek pleasure, but within certain moral and ethical guidelines, acknowledging that sometimes, the right thing and the most pleasurable thing are not always the same.

More in line with epicureanism, this viewpoint defines pleasure more broadly, looking beyond a simple dopamine hit of getting something you want in the present moment.

After all, delayed gratification is still gratification, isn’t it? And it might make sense to postpone a smaller pleasure (like that candy bar) in favor of a bigger pleasure (really enjoying your dinner when you have it because you haven’t ruined your appetite).

It’s a question of priorities.

Hedonism proper is just about what feels good for you alone, right now.

Even a child can see that this is not a position that will lead anywhere good.

Living this way means you’ll never learn anything, never build or create anything if it’s even slightly challenging to do so, never consider others, and never have any patience for things that take time.

Phrased this way, hedonism seems like the opposite of self-discipline.

But on the other hand, all work and no play is not a realistic life goal.

The moderate view in between is ethical hedonism—i.e.

seeking pleasure, but with some caveats on what that actually means.

It’s useless to follow your pleasure with no thought for the repercussions—often just because you’re usually limiting your please this way, anyway! There are surely other good and meaningful things in life other than immediate pleasure.

Consider what made you read this book.

You may have wanted to learn something about self-discipline so that you could gain some mastery and control over yourself.

But why did you want that mastery and control? Well, no matter how you look at it, you are probably seeking this goal because it feels good.

Because ultimately, it will bring you pleasure.

Any desirable achievement or experience, whether it’s becoming a celebrated neurosurgeon, winning a race, or savoring a really amazing glass of red wine, comes down to us deriving some form of pleasure from it.

So, how do we reconcile our want of (and maybe right to?) pleasure with our desire to have better self-discipline? Reframe the Way You Think about Pleasure What is pleasurable? This is up to you to decide.

For an artist, pleasure is found in beautiful and harmonious creations; for a scientist, pleasure is found in technical mastery and understanding the mechanics of life; for a writer, pleasure may come in the form of insightful expression and moving poetry.

Or for some, pleasure is simply a slice of warm, freshly baked bread or a chance to lie in bed on a Sunday morning and listen to the birds outside.

For others, pleasure is cheating someone out of something, getting out of work, or having someone admire you for no good reason.

Though hedonism conjures up images of a drunk and debauched Bacchanalian figure, pleasure is really individual to each of us.

And it is important to seek out certain things simply because they make you happy.

This could explain why we choose to channel our Nietzschean will to power into some avenues and not others—we decide our values and priorities based heavily on what feels the best to us.

However, pleasure is likely not the only thing that helps us decide how to act and how to structure our lives.

When you cave into temptation in the moment, you could be said to be behaving hedonistically—that is, you’re favoring your own immediate pleasure above anything else (including the long-term goals that require you to abstain).

But this is a limited view.

Pleasure always has a cost, and there are always repercussions and consequences in the future, even if you don’t acknowledge them in the present.

A smart way to practically apply the philosophy of hedonism to your own self- discipline plans is to reframe the way you define pleasure entirely.

If it’s natural to prioritize and seek pleasure, then why not frame the right action as pleasurable? This takes a subtle shift in mindset that can have powerful implications.

For example, do you really enjoy slobbing out at home and bingeing on huge amounts of junk food? Are orgies and anonymous sex really better than a lifelong loving relationship with someone you respect and trust? If we’re honest, some overindulgent behavior and pleasure-seeking can actually leave us feeling pretty bad.

And then there are the consequences—being overweight and out of shape, having no skills or achievements to show for your time on earth, being felt by others to be lazy and unreliable ...

If you look closely at what really brings you joy and meaning in life, you might be surprised to see that you in fact really like the subtler, more delayed pleasures.

Cheap junk food certainly ticks some boxes, but does it make you feel good in the way that a well prepared, healthy, and delicious meal at home does? A smart person doesn’t deny themselves pleasure, or self-flagellate and become a martyr in their own lives.

Rather, they see doing the right thing as innately pleasurable.

It’s not a punishment or any kind of suffering to work toward the thing they care about most in the world.

It’s an honor and a privilege.

If you find yourself struggling to push through a challenging activity, can you not learn to relish the moment as a wonderful opportunity to be better? Can you not savor the anticipation, the waiting for the reward that comes later? Take a moment to feel your own willpower and take pleasure in your self-control and mastery.

Don’t tell yourself you are passing up a great pleasure in the moment.

Tell yourself you are willingly and joyfully cultivating a bigger pleasure for yourself later on.

There are ways to frame your own pleasure so that you want to do the things that you have already rationally decided are a good idea.

A good way to do this is to think not in terms of instant sense pleasure in the moment, but in more abstract fulfilment over time.

The difference can be explained with an example.

Imagine at your job you are suddenly and inexplicably promoted to a better position with more pay.

From a hedonist’s point of view, this is great.

Extra accolades and money for nothing! But ask yourself if you’d really be satisfied with this.

Wouldn’t it mean so much more to you to have been promoted because the boss thought you were brilliant and wanted to reward you? Some pleasures appeal to the bodily senses, sure, but they’re empty.

What they lack is meaning.

When we work hard on something, we make it more valuable.

It becomes rarer, more difficult to achieve, something worth being proud of and protecting.

The same can’t be said for fleeting pleasures.

Fulfilment, then, is different from pleasure.

It’s harder to come by but more lasting and gives you a deeper satisfaction than merely enjoying yourself in the moment.

It’s a wonderful thing when someone has gained enough self-mastery that they actively enjoy doing the thing that’s best for them.

Just like people who eat well eventually cannot stand the taste of unhealthy food, and people who exercise often come to love and look forward to every workout, you, too, can take pleasure in the process of achieving your goals, not just the flashy end reward.

We often think of paradise as a place where we have no worries or cares and all our needs are tended to.

Nothing hurts, nothing challenges us, there are no problems, and everything goes our way all the time.

But think about this for more than a moment and you’ll soon see that it’s a kind of hell: a place where we never get to test what we’re really made of, never get to triumph over difficulty, solve any problems, or overcome any obstacles.

Without any sort of stretching or lifting, our muscles atrophy and weaken.

Without any mental calisthenics, our minds wither and become dull.

Thinking in this way, obstacles and difficulties are a gift—in engaging with them, we develop ourselves, sharpen our minds, gain wisdom, and strengthen our resolve.

We become worthwhile.

Who would you rather trust, follow, fall in love with, or admire—a person who is only ever chasing the next carrot in front of their nose, or someone with the strength of character to do better than that? You can be that person, but it takes giving up a few childish pleasures in the moment.

The next time you face temptation, look at it with this perspective.

It’s the easy way out.

The meaningless way out.

Look and see what it’s really offering—and what it can never offer.

Then, practice feeling enormous pleasure as you watch yourself choose the better option, despite any flashy distractions in front of you.

Bask in the satisfaction of knowing that you have risen above temptations and successfully ignored distractions.

Reframe the Way You Think about Pain The other half of the hedonist’s philosophy is that of avoiding pain.

Suffering is seen as an evil and something to reduce as much as humanly possible.

This makes sense— nobody wants to hurt unnecessarily or go look for trouble when they could have just as easily had a pleasant or easy time.

But, again, it comes down to how we define pain and suffering.

It may not seem like suffering has any intrinsic value, but some examples can show us that sometimes “suffering” is not unnecessary, avoidable, or evil.

In fact, it’s very much a part of life and comes part and parcel with all the good things we want and appreciate.

Say you’re at the kitchen, cooking, and your hand happens to alight onto a hot surface.

If you weren’t capable of feeling pain in that instance, what do you think you’d do next? Nothing.

Your hand would still be comfortably resting on that surface while your skin gets burned off and damage to your deeper tissues fester.

Alternatively, being able to feel pain would have you jerking your hand away in a split second before you even got to mentally process that you had touched a hot surface.

Pain exists for a reason; it has immense survival value and, in many instances, serves to protect you.

Take, for another example, giving birth.

It’s almost always painful and unpleasant, but most new mothers would gladly do it again (and in fact deliberately repeat the experience despite knowing what it’s like).

This is because childbirth is a part of life and the means to an end that most mothers would believe is more than worth it.

Consider an athlete or professional sportsman who is trying to improve their performance.

The aching muscles they feel in the morning, the occasional injury—are these pains to be avoided entirely? Are they evil? They could be, but then the whole endeavor has to be stopped, because discomfort and occasional injury are an unavoidable part of training.

In fact, every time you exercise, your muscles are torn in microscopic ways—but it’s this that allows them to rebuild again stronger.

To put it crudely, no pain no gain.

The closer you look, the more you see that pain and suffering are not a detraction from life, but an integral part of it.

Seeking comfort is one thing, but assuming that life should be nothing but comfort is closing off all the life paths that have a little pain and discomfort as part of the deal.

You could be comfortable and safe.

Or, you could live a fulfilled, meaningful life.

But you can’t have both at the same time! The latter has a price.

Holding the expectation for life to be easy is a recipe for disaster.

It either means that you won’t be prepared when trouble inevitably strikes, or that you only choose those actions that lead to a weak, unfulfilled, meaningless, and empty life—a life of unexplored horizons, undeveloped talents, and unfulfilled potential.

We don’t need to take everything so seriously and work ourselves hard with no joy or satisfaction.

Life is not meant to feel bad, certainly.

Rather, we can take a broader, subtler view of what it actually means to live a happy, good life, and act accordingly, knowing that the rough comes with the smooth, and that only those things we work for are ultimately worth anything.

So, how can we reframe suffering in a way that supports our improved self-discipline? Firstly, expect it.

Anticipate that sometimes you will feel scared, angry, tired, confused, hurt, or as though life is unfair.

Understand that somewhere along the line, something you care about will break, a plan you made in earnest will fail, and the unexpected could sweep in and change everything.

You are not doing this in a pessimistic way.

You are doing this in the same way as checking the forecast to see if you need to bring an umbrella.

There’s no point getting angry or upset about the possibility of bad things happening—all we can do is have knowledge and prepare.

We can also forgive ourselves when we make mistakes, and move on quickly instead of dwelling on what’s outside our scope of control.

Ethical hedonism is doing what you can to maximize happiness and joy, all the while knowing that pain and suffering do exist, and you can accept those, too, when they occur beyond your control.

Self-discipline is the commitment to knowing something is unpleasant, and pushing on anyway.

Too many people see hard work and struggle as a sign that they are on the wrong path, when it’s actually proof they are on the right path!